Not Flesh of Our Flesh

Every now and again I listen to my music. I ask Siri to play Shannon McMahon and then listen to my songs in random order. Listening to them always brings back memories of writing and recording. I always enjoy seeing my songs evolve in the recording process and watching them grow to their full potential.

This morning on my short jaunt to Starbucks for my new favorite drink—grande iced matcha with soy and two pumps of horchata syrup, YUM—I heard a song I hadn’t really listened to in awhile. Not Flesh of My Flesh was written when I was 16 years old and feeling adrift. I was suffering the usual teenage angsty identity crisis with an added thorn. As an adoptee, I didn’t have a biological family history. I was connected to my adoptive parents’ family tree , and it is my family tree for sure, but I didn’t know what my true lineage was.

The title, Not Flesh of Our Flesh, refers to a poem my parents had given me, which was about belonging and being loved, no matter that I wasn’t biologically theirs.

Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone
but still Miraculously my own.

Never forget for a single minute
You did not grow under my heart
but in it.

by
Fleur Conkling Heyliger

I wrote an article for a journalism class in college that was published in the New York Times. The assignment was to write an article about yourself, and I wrote an article on being adopted. It made the top section of the Connecticut Opinion Page and had an illustration. I am still so proud of that moment. :)You can read it here. (This article is behind a paywall.)

The song was a way for me to acknowledge that while I was feeling a little lost identity-wise, I knew I was absolutely loved and valued in my family. All those years ago, I had no way of knowing that I would actually meet and connect with one of my biological half siblings. It took my song Connected to give me the courage to write a letter to her, she responded, and the rest is history. My biological history. I never, ever thought there would be any way I would know my birth family, and I was resigned to that, even if I was curious. What I did learn, however, was that I am exceedingly grateful for the way things turned out, and that I was where I was meant to be all along.

Here are the song links:

Not Flesh of Our Flesh: Apple Music Spotify

Connected: Apple Music Spotify

Thank you for reading and listening!

First Show of 2025

Well, I did it. Last night I played my first show since the surgery. I was nervous, for sure, wondering if my fingers would do what i needed them to do. The Martin Girls, my side project with Anne Marie Menta, were on the bill with Meggie and headliner Inner Groove, who were having their CD release party. Frank Critelli was our Master of Ceremonies.

The First Congregational Church of Meriden (home of the Olde Church Acoustic Series), has always been a favorite venue of mine, with its glorious stained glass windows, gothic architecture, and wonderful audiences. This was the perfect first show back from surgery—it reinforced all that I have been working towards these past few months. And there is definitely more work to do. While I am overjoyed that I can play songs fairly well, I am still working on rebuilding strength and flexibility. I am not quite pain-free when I play, but this pain is different. It’s a healing pain, a sign of muscle, tendon and bone working together in a new way and moving forward, rather than eroding tissue and bone.

I am so grateful for this music community I find myself in. I’ve met so many amazing and talented musicians over the years. Your support and friendship have meant so much. Thank you to everyone who made last night’s show possible. Everyone was warm and welcoming, and extremely helpful. It was such a magical evening and I was honored to be a part of it.

My next show is Tuesday, June 24, 7pm at Klekolo World Coffee in Middletown, CT. I haven’t played there since before the pandemic, and I’m lookiing forward to it. Hope you can be there, too. In the meantime, I will be practicing daily and playing online shows in Second Life to increase stamina and bolster my confidence.

Thank you so much for sharing the journey!

The Martin Grils (Shannon McMahon & Anne Marie Menta) Photo courtesy of Brian Larney.

From Left: Denise Jones, Anne Marie Menta, Shannon McMahon, & Meggie

April

It’s just shy of a month till my first gig. It’s coming fast and I pray I will be ready. I got the go-ahead to start actually playing guitar from my physical therapist a week ago, and I am now up to playing almost 30 minutes a day. My range of motion is improving, and I am able to reach the chords much easier. It’s so great to be playing guitar again! On Wednesday, it will be three months since the surgery. Seems like forever ago, and forever’s a long time to wait when you’re dying to play guitar.

So, for the next few weeks, I will be working on regaining my strength, rebuilding my callouses, and restoring my confidence. The first show is Friday, May 2, at the Olde Church Acoustic Series in Meriden, CT. The Martin Girls are opening for Inner Groove. Check my shows tab for details. Thank you so much for your support, and for traveling this road with me. Can’t wait to see you!

Here are two videos from this past week: Wishing on Planes and This Land is Your Land.

How is it March already?

The days seem to be flying by, and we are already halfway through March. How does that happen? I’ve been here the whoie time! I am still soldiering on with my physical therapy sessions, trying to gain strength and mobility. I’m even doing chord formations on the guitar! It does seem easier now to get to the chords than it was before the surgery, but I have a ways to go before I’m actually playing. I did have two shows scheduled in April, but I have rescheduled them for later this year. My goal for April is to do some online shows in Second Life and/or on Facebook to get me game ready.

The Martin Girls (Anne Marie Menta & I) are opening for Inner Groove on May 2 as part of the Olde Church Acoustic Series. Inner Groove will be celebrating their latest CD release and I will be celebrating my very first live show since December 2024!

Since it’s March, and St. Patrick’s Day is right around the corner, perhaps you’d like to check out my song, Bridget Keane, about an ancestor of mine who came from County Clare during the famine and settled in Newtown, CT. You can read the story behind it here and you can listen to it here or here.

I am really looking forward to playing and performing again. In the words of the great Joni Mitchell…”Don’t it always seem to go, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone…” Luckily for me, I’m just on a small hiatus. Thank you for being there for me. I look forward to seeing you all soon.

Hello 2025

Welcome to 2025! I can’t believe it’s been four weeks since my surgery. Thankfully, i made it through the worst part and am here one-handed typing. I started physical therapy this week and am already making progress!

There’s still a ways to go though, and I am trying to be patient.I miss playing and performing, and I especially miss seeing all of you. I have shows booked in April that I really hope I’ll be ready for: Cafe Atlantique on April 5, and Klekolo World Coffee on April 22. I guess time will tell. I will keep you posted.

Thank you so much for being here with me. I appreciate you all so very much. Looking forward to seeing you all soon. In the meantime, you can find me on the streaming platforms and social media. Come say hi.

Post-op and ready to go home.

Two-weeks of this cast.

No more cast! Stitches are out. The work begins.